A writer at The Root recently asked, “Would most Type A, professional women have dated Barack when he was a broke, big-eared organizer with a funny name?“
Shockingly, she thought not.
I’ve played matchmaker, unsuccessfully, for scores of black professional women. And I’m convinced that Michelle’s got something on many of us. Not her intelligence or her confidence or sense of style, her glowing skin or the carved silhouette of her arms. I could fill a room with friends who have all these qualities to spare. I’m talking about the choices I imagine she made in those crucial moments between meeting Barack and deciding who he would be to her. She must have focused on an abundance of goodness instead of his hint of goofiness and fixated on a warm smile instead of a pair of oversized ears. It’s easy to see now that he was a great catch, but how many of us would have been open to this guy who strayed so far from the black Prince Charming ideal, starting with his very name?
O RLY? Young guy, with a Ivy League degree, NO KIDS, and a job. Not the ideal? Really? Is that so?
More after the jump.
Last things first:
1) If names were an issue, no black people would be dating anyone. Everyone born from the 1970s on either knows someone, loves someone or has some form of an African, Muslim, African-American made up fancy-pants name. I was the only Danielle I knew growing up, but I knew about 15 Keishas and God knows how many Hakeems, Dantes and Dontrelles. Barack wouldn’t have caused most folks to blink any more than a guy named Kenyatta.
2) And that’s goodness with “a hint of goofiness” and “a warm smile” with “a pair of oversized ears” AND A HARVARD DEGREE.
Harvard. As in Ivy League. As in a giant, expensive degree that has “POTENTIAL” written across it. And the man had no kids? Puleaze.
I see writer Jenée Desmond-Harris’ point, but by hinging her arguement on a childless Ivy Leaguer oozing with potential I’m going to have to give her whole article a massive fail. I mean, she writes about the prez like he was hideous and had a horn growing out of his forehead. He was a good looking dude with a serious B-Ball game.
And a LAWYER.
Yes, some women are picky. Yes, some women want “ballers.” Yes, some women have some fantasy in their head of the perfect guy who does not exist. News flash: That’s a universal problem among all people looking for mates regardless of gender, age or race. A whole lot of people are unrealistic. I could make the same blanket statement that all men want to date women who are whores in the bedroom and mothers in the kitchen. And your point is …?
Finding a mate is hard for everyone. Most of us won’t get lucky like my dad and have the love of their life show up at their front door one day, no work required. Most of us have to go out on dates and dig through the unwashed masses for someone to love. If you’re a nice, but geeky guy or girl it’s easy to say I can’t get laid because I’m so geeky when in reality it might just be because you have issues or now just isn’t the right time or maybe you aren’t traveling in the right circles or maybe you’re too uptight.
But don’t tell me that women, especially black women, would actually pass up on Ivy Leaguers now. Because, my friend, I know a few childless, male Ivy Leaguers and while they may not have found the right mate it isn’t because there aren’t black women trying desperately to wife them up. If anything they can smell the effing desperation from a mile away.
Which is why no one has been wifed yet. You SCARE the living CRAP OUT OF THEM with the forwardness and the desperation and the high dose of CRAZY-PANTS!
So if you’re having a hard time finding a mate, um … you’re supposed to. And most women are picky, but usually H-A-R-V-A-R-D is on the list of the things they like to pick.
Live Your Best Life. 
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