CNN is hitting the Hillary Clinton for veep bong again and they’re hitting it hard. You can’t blame them. They have primary night fever and it’s spread to their diseased brains. Barack Obama’s planning to declare victory. Jimmy Carter and James Cyburn have officially picked Team Obama (although neither were a surprise).

Sen. Hillary Clinton on Tuesday told New York lawmakers she is open to being the running mate of Sen. Barack Obama, her rival for the Democratic presidential nomination, two of the lawmakers told CNN.

Rep. Charles Rangel, a senior member of the New York Democratic delegation, also told CNN, “I have reason to believe she is open to the [vice president] slot.”

One of the sources added that former President Clinton has been privately pushing for a couple of weeks for his wife to be No. 2 on the ticket.

On Monday night, a close friend and adviser of the former first lady told CNN Clinton will say tonight “that she will do whatever it takes” to put a Democrat in the White House. Barack Obama insiders saw that as an indication she would accept an offer to be his running mate if asked.

Now I don’t doubt that there’s veep talk going around because, why not? We’re talking about politicians here. But still, after all that has happened, I still think it would be nutters to have them on the same ticket. I’m aware that the Grandma Moses demo will not vote for anyone unless they’ve shared a long, complicated, infidelity-laced marriage with Bill Clinton, but, my word, this would be the most side-eyed, non-trusting, innuendo-drenched, biracial, battle-of-the-sexes political tag team ever.

This is what the press wants. Not me. This is their “dream team.” A charming, feel good up-in-comer and the long-awaited sequel, “The Clinton Years II: First Lady’s Choice.” How long will it be before all the horrible made up shit starts mixing in with the true drama creating a Masterworks Theater of clusterfuckery? How long before I see the supermarket tabloid about Bill and Michelle’s secret rendezvous? Will I be able to keep down my oatmeal after I look at that?

I mean, I know why some would want this to happen and but it would be a Valentine to The New York Times, The Washington Post, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, ABC, NBC and CBS. Even C-SPAN. So, go there if you must, Team Obama, just know who you’re getting in bed with.