Whenever I get down on St. Louis politics I can bring myself up by saying five little words — “At least we’re not Detroit.”
I can’t tell you how glad I am that we don’t have Kwame “The Thugnificent” Kilpatrick as our mayor. St. Louis Mayor Francis Slay may be too beholding to outside business interests and neglects the needs of the black community, but he’s not on CNN once a week with reporters reading out-loud his text message sexcapades.
Of course if he were it would be a lot easier to get signatures for his recall, but he’s not our mayor so praise Jesus or Buddha or Jehovah or Allah. I’m just glad his ugly maw isn’t taking up space on my TV every night as he tries to justify firing the officer who was investigating him for being America’s Top Thug Mayor.
Like Suge Knight with a popular vote mandate, Kilpatrick sucked up all the goodwill of his constituents who I imagine are all pretending like they never voted him into office. Black people are known for being highly supportive of fellow blacks in high places, but this went above and beyond the ability to make excuses for bad, bad behavior. Much like how I was amazed people could still find defenses for R. Kelly, I don’t get anyone who’s still piggy-packing Kilpatrick. The rank smell from the man’s proclivities have started to even overwhelm his mother’s reelection campaign for the House of Representatives.
She ran unopposed in her last election. Now she’s in a heated battle with an opponent who happily plays sound bites from Mama Kilpatrick’s defense of her Thugnificent son. At the end of the ad opponent Mary Waters argues that Detroit deserves better than “yaw’s boy.”
If you want a good laugh (or cry, whatever you feel like doing) over this, check out this Discuss Detroit comment thread on Waters’ “Yaw’s Boy” commercial.
My favorite comments were the responses to a commenter who lambasted black people who call out other black people on their bad behavior in public. He or she was targeting Waters for producing an ad that made Mama, Carolyn Cheeks Kilpatrick, look batshit insane. Contrary to the critic, most thought this attack was highly appropriate.
“The education system in (Detroit Public Schools) has built up KING KWHYME’s following as that of a cult like figure who has risen up. It’s like a Hip-Hopera Y’all!” wrote one commenter.
A Hip-Hopera, indeed.
If this becomes a movie will Suge Knight’s parole officer free him up to play Kilpatrick? Ving Rhames would be good, but he’s too old. Jesse L. Martin is too good looking, but hell, it’s Hollywood. Let’s pretend Kwame’s good looking. Vivica Fox could play Christine Beatty, his text message freak-a-zoid. Someone call Tyler Perry, stat!
But I digress, Waters’ commercial hit job should win an award for best usage of archival video in a negative campaign ad to pithily hang your rival with their own words. But of course some people (like R. Kelly supporters) don’t seem to understand that you don’t have to back someone after they’ve actually done wrong. Once you have eight felony counts on your head like Kilpatrick, black people should feel free to disassociate themselves from him and his black person status.
Or in other words, you’re SOL, My Fair Negro. Best of luck to you in prison.
Live Your Best Life. 
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