Screencap from Gawker.Paul Begala TOTALLY doesn’t know what people are talking about when they ask if he and James Carville started this whole “Rush Limbaugh is the leader of the Republican Party” meme, then, like a pair of Chatty Cathies called Obama Chief-of-Staff Rahm Emmanuel, like, everyday to say “You know, Rush totally has leadership cooties, right? Cootie Queen! Total Cootie Queen.”

OK. I know one’s a chirpy partisan and the other is the Marine version of Foghorn Leghorn, so they probably didn’t use the word “Cootie Queen.” It was probably something involving “lard” and “ass,” but Paul still won’t answer the question everyone already knows the answer too.

Gawker was nice enough to cover Anderson Cooper getting all kind of dickish over this “conspiracy” of no one.

(More after the jump!)

Were Democratic attacks on Rush Limbaugh coordinated with the White House? Watch Paul Begala hilariously duck and dodge and dance around Anderson Cooper‘s many futile questions about the matter.

Begala joined with fellow ex-Bill-and-Hillary-Clinton aide James Carville in recent months to highlight Limbaugh’s influence over the Republican party and general ridiculousness, like saying he wanted Barack Obama to fail. That much is agreed upon.

What’s not nailed down — but reported convincingly by Politico — is that Begala coordinated his campaign with White House buddies like Rahm Emanuel, the chief of staff. He and the president’s press secretary publicly slammed Limbaugh.

It was a terrible White House conspiracy, you see, to engage in, uh… politics. That’s basically illegal for Democrats, right?

CNN anchor Cooper wanted to get to the bottom of things partly because Begala, a CNN “analyst,” used his CNN time as part of his scheme. So Cooper put on his very serious squinty face while interviewing the strategist.

(Source: Gawker)

I mean, Begala and Carville are hacks. (Wonderful, glorious, Kentucky-fried hacks.) They will start a fight with anyone. And as pundits for CNN, that’s their job. Was the ol’ Coop-a-doop like, mad or something that Begala and Carville used their time as analysts on CNN to … ahem … attack Republicans and conservatives? Because, I could have swore that’s why they hired them.

News flash! Did you know that former Secy. of Education Bill Bennett worked for a president who didn’t really BELIEVE in the Department of Education and neither did Bennett, but CNN has him on as an education analyst on the government, like, all the time? Alert the TRUTH SQUAD! Does Andy know that Jeffery Toobin writes books and shizz and his appearances on CNN helps sell them!?!?! Oh NOOOooooOOOooo! That’s not “keepin’ em honest!”

Very confused as to why Andy has his “serious reporter” hat on. Save it for the real news, shortie.

In other news: People still wonder (both conservatives and Liberals) where are Michael Steele’s “balls?” Personally, I think he gave them as a gift to Rush in a jar of phymaldehyde with the words “Dittohead 4 Life” tattoed on them.

Shonda Rhimes is going to get my hopes up and then ruin them (again) with a new show about … sigh … broadcast reporters. I dearly hope they change the title (“In the Box.” Seriously?) Word has hit that among the stars will be the gorgeous British-Indian actress Indira Varma in the lead, with New Zealander Matt Henderson as fake “McDreamy” and Blair Underwood-lite, Morris Chestnut clone, actor Jason Winston George as the token hot black guy. (Who I actually like, unlike Taye Diggs — The #1 reason why I can’t watch Private Practice.) I don’t know how all the accents are going to go with the two leads being from the UK and New Zealand. I’ve never heard Indira “do” an American accent, unless Rhimes is basing her character on the super, kick-ass South African Laura Logan of CBS.

I’ll give the show a shot.

Google Stalking TJ Holmes Alert! The Reese Peanut Butter Cup of the TV News will host the 2009 National Association for Multi-ethnicity in Communications Annual Awards Breakfast, 7 to 8:30 a.m., April 3 at the Grand Hyatt Washington in Washington, DC.

The event is part of the National Cable & Telecommunications Association Cable Show this spring. Get your tickets to stalk … err, I mean LISTEN to TJ now.

T.J. Holmes is one of today’s most respected young journalists … we are honored that (he) will join us in recognizing another outstanding group of young executives who personify NAMIC’s vision and are shaping the future of the communications industry.

(Source: Reuters Press release)

Blah. Blah. Whatever. If you go, and if you get pictures, don’t be a TJ picture hog. Send them to me! Share them with the rest! We neeeeed this. Don’t you let us down.

And finally, some bizarre Obama rumors:

Rumor #1: Michelle Obama as “Lady MacBeth” not letting Barack meet in the snow-filled Rose Garden with her Leader of the Free World hubby for some reason. Like, she’s still mad at those white, British Imperialist overlords. Oh. OK, dude from the UK’s Telegraph. (Via wowOwow)

Rumor #2: Oprah and Michelle TOTALLY hate each other because that heifer tried to push up on her man!

The National Enquirer says that Michelle Obama is still so aggravated with Oprah Winfrey for flirting with Barack during the elections that she recently shut her down during a White House visit for an interview for O magazine.

“Oprah marched into the White House with Gayle King in tow like she owned it. (Oprah) believes she played a major role in getting President Obama elected and expects to be treated like royalty when she calls on them. But Michelle had other ideas. She appreciates that Oprah endorsed her husband, but considers her role minor in getting him elected.“

The insider says that Michelle knows that they weren’t having an affair, but she felt it was as if Oprah wanted people to wonder. The trouble at the White House started when Oprah walked in and went to greet Michelle with a kiss on the check and Mrs. Obama stepped back and shook her hand instead. Then during the interview, Michelle completely ignored The O and instead focused on Gayle.

“Oprah felt completely left out of the conversation. And it was obvious that was how Michelle intended for her to feel. By the end of the interview, Oprah was seething!”

Wait? I thought all Oprah rumors were that Oprah is gay and that Gayle was her real “life partner” not Stedman. C’mon, rumor-mongerers! Get the story straight! Or gay! Or at least bisexual!

Of course, there’s NOTHING TO BACK THIS UP. But that’s why it’s one of the two ridiculous Obama rumors of the day.