Sarah Palin announced Friday in the worst executed Friday news dump ever that she is stepping down from her governorship almost immediately, “in a few weeks” up in the frozen tundra of Alaska. Aside from my general reaction of whatthefuckjusthappend I have to say, oh REALLY, Palinator? You’re quitting Alaska.
O RLY?
Oh really, Sarah Palin. You’re quitting Alaska. The best job you’ve ever had? For what? 2012? Can you count? Did you know that you still have two and a half years to prepare? And I know you don’t give a shit about preparation, so don’t try to tell me your going to spend this time memorizing former Soviet satellite states.
And if I had to guess which governor was going to bail on their state on a Friday news dump I would have gone with South Carolina poon hound Mark Sanford. But this was a welcomed treat! Fiddle-dee-dee! What on earth could be the reason for this sudden, erratic, borderline batshit insane move?
Leaving office at the end of the month, the former vice presidential hopeful will be able to travel the country more freely without facing the sort of repeated ethics inquiries she’s been fending off since returning to Alaska earlier this year.
In making her announcement, Palin spoke directly to those inquiries, saying she wouldn’t stand by as taxpayer money was spent to investigate her.
Speaking outside of her home with Lake Lucille in the background, Palin derided the “superficial political bloodsport” that has been aimed at her since rocketing into fame last summer. (Politico)
Um … OK. Because people keep asking you to stay at home and RUN YOUR STATE you’re quitting. In the middle of your term. And in “a few weeks.” O RLY?
While I can believe you’re so thin-skinned that media scrutiny and legislative inquires could usher you out of office, that still makes absolutely no sense considering most politicians with presidential aspirations hold on to power by all means. What gives? Was it the Vanity Fair piece that made you sound crazy pants or the emails CBS got that made you sound crazy pants? Or is some gigantic, ugly, yet highly entertaining Naughty Monkey shoe of controversy about to drop on us all? Because, really, you only quit when you’re caught, right? I refuse to believe this is some “genius” political move here because it is so not genius that it is the correctional shoes and over-sized helmet of political moves.
Without the governorship, you’re just some woman who gets into really public fights with people. And did you really NEED more drama? You’re already five different Lifetime Movies of the Week! All you need to do is have a torrid affair with Mark Sanford and the universe will collapse in on itself, swallowing the Republican Party into a black hole of WTF-ness.
So … any guesses on what shizz is about to hit the fan that would send Sarah Barracuda running for the hills? Other than this is a stupid ploy to free her up for more fights with David Letterman? I want to say stupid ploy, but I’m crossing my fingers for she’s schtupping an ice trucker!
Live Your Best Life. 
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